2nd attempt automatically started constructing approach, philosophy, fundamentals of void
Date:18-Mar-17
I started my serious journey towards self-realisation with the objective to reduce the "colourings" of thoughts to such an extent so that they have positive consequences in my thoughts and actions. Positive consequences, as in, improved time management, improved clarity of mind without distractions, better attention span, being able to build rapport better.
Our lives at present have come very fast and we are exposed to technology and information like never before. As I write my journal entry, I'm considering how we have to face so many different types of crises as we grow up. At the core of all achievements, be it professional or personal, lies "thought". How we think and what we believe in shapes reality. Mind over matter - scientists have already proven it's possible - telekinesis, Out-Of-Body projections and etc. My first step, is with observing my thoughts. If we are able to dissociate from the thoughts and the associated emotions we go through everyday, we empower ourselves to get rid of negative unwanted feelings, and also to condition our thinking patterns for better productivity when we work :-)
My first day with observing my thoughts has been an "easy-learning" experience for me! I used the theories of the medieval Indian sage Patanjali (2nd/3rd CE) I'm convinced that his curriculum on Yoga of the mind is the most comprehensive and deepest so far. Here is my very first thought that I've controlled in the meditative stage:
a repetitive song that I've recently heard in a public concert that my mind plays out without provocation every once in a while. This comes from my memory, but my mind uses imagination to repeat the lyrics trying to be skeptical about the singer. Then, my mind approaches this as it does any coloured thoughts! This is ignorance / Avidya and attraction / raga to the unknown mixed. So, when I encounter something I don't or can't comprehend, I take a skeptic's position and try to approach the concept repeatedly. This explains why I tend to get stuck-up in a never-ending loop when my friend disappoints me! My mind just won't give up until it has analysed the situation and has found solutions! It is "Active", in that this thought is affecting how I evaluate new scenarios. Or in other words, I'm allowing my mind to become much more powerful with this thought when it tries to evaluate new scenarios about which I'm skeptical and disproving. So, the summary is that this thought that I've acquired from an external sensory stimulus (hearing) made me feel skeptical and disproving. My mind then learnt to make the associated feeling synonymous with the thought. So this is how the process seems to work:
sensory stimulus from the external environment gives rises to new thoughts, thoughts give rise to feelings and emotions immediately after processing or during thinking. We become trained to feel a certain way when similar situations come up in the future. Here is my point, there is no point in feeling a negative emotion such as skeptical and disproving every time we encounter something new - that is unproductive.
I think this is how anchoring is done too. But that's a different discussion.
uncolouring or dissecting the thought:
When I'm able to dissect this thought and separate the negative emotions and automatic conclusions, it'll be empowering! The first question, from where has this thought come from? The answer - the Chitta / my brain's memory storehouse. But not all thoughts can come up from the memory, specially when I use my ego and drive to always stay busy with achieving something - which is what I want to do! Second question, how has this thought influenced me?
1. It gives weapons to my skepticism.
2. It creates a certain "state" of emotions in me that might not be pleasant for someone new to know.
2. It creates a certain "state" of emotions in me that might not be pleasant for someone new to know.
The second point is the actual point! It's supposed to be just another piece of thought in my memory, but what it does is fuel the natural skeptic in me. As I've already pointed out earlier, taking skeptic's position and feeling negative is likely to give the same vibe to the second person. What is the other person has disappointed me without intending to do so? What if the other person is very positive, dreamy, and likes to explore things? My natural position will be interpreted to be the sign of a negative-minded person. Of course, that'll be another mistake for the second person with whom I'm willing to build rapport - my thoughts don't define me as a person. What if the situation requires me to be an explorer one more time, forgive mistakes, and spend the time to improve myself while I give time to the other person to recuperate and do the same? Normal people do exactly this - they live by the same old codes and repeat the same actions over and over again without any thought to the underlying reasons. We don't want to change and assume those who want and need change are for psychotherapy clients! What if I'm able to train myself into a new way of thinking that'll help me be the explorer and a learner when it comes to relationships with friends that I want to nurture, and stay as a skeptic when it comes to evaluating new concepts?
Experiences with void / vacancy meditation:
Traditionally when we think of "nothingness" we automatically find out what's " in there " that we can sense with our senses. Then, we try to deny "something" and concentrate on "nothing". I myself was thinking this way before I made my first attempt in meditating and trying to reach an absolute vacancy of mind. This "reactionary" procedure seemed to be unproductive for me just like having a negative life goal such as "...to give up smoking" would be. Smoking is just a habit and the real problem never lies in itself. A positive and SMART goal would be to "improve your physical health". So, what should be the goal when you want to meditate on nothing but don't want to be averse/attracted/reactive to anything?
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